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The noise in my head is real.

When anxiety starts to rear its ugly head, often its the reactions I get from other people that get me to realize it. Why? I shout. Not a yell, or scream.. but a shout.

My voice is raised and I am abrupt, and talk way to fast and forcefully almost like a verbal bulldozer because I need any conversation to stop. I need quiet.

It turns out this is a real thing!

My bestie first taught me about this over a decade ago, when he noticed I shout when I’m ‘stressed’. Although he did his best to explain the physical chain reaction that causes it during anxiety, I was too stand off-ish to listen at the time. Luckily the internet is an endless resource these days, so google away at all the articles about it.

Here is one from an actual research study by actual doctors about Noise Annoyance Associated with Depression and Anxiety

The result of the noise study? “Depression and anxiety increased with the degree of overall noise annoyance. Compared to no annoyance, prevalence ratios for depression, respectively anxiety increased from moderate to extreme annoyance.”  

The team at The Anxiety Center have a great post about hypersensitivity and anxiety. which beautifully explains such symptoms – how anxiety triggers the stress response, which triggers heightened senses as part of the fight or flight response.

No matter how you slice it, noise and anxiety do not mix.

 

What can you go to help manage anxiety and noise?

1. Ear plugs

I keep a paid of pretty sweet titanium ones in my desk. They are discreet and allow me to still hear people, but really help cut down the irritating harshness and reduce general noise vibrations in the room. Its like putting ear muffs on. Its my first go-to for quiet.

2. Headphones

Ear buds, noise cancelling, either work great. Sometimes just having them on will curb noises, but if you choose to listen to music, then be smart about your selection. I have a playlist of Jen’s ‘settle down now’ music. Its pretty much all classic soul, but you do you 😉

3. Close the door

I don’t always have a door to my office. I’ve had to put signs up asking for space. Full disclosure, it rarely works. People don’t notice it or ignore it even if my office mates are running interference. If you are lucky enough to get a door, close it. Even part way.

4. Get some headspace

I love the Headspace app, or find any version of guided meditation that you connect with. I’ll admit that at first try I thought meditation was awkward, but anything that is a catalyst for managing anxiety is a good thing in my book! Call it a “time out”, take a breath, go for walk… you can’t deny all the awesome mental, emotion and physical benefits meditation offers. Find your own version, there is no wrong way to do it.

5. Avoid stimulation

Off hours are as key to managing anxiety. Do something quiet, whatever floats your boat. Coloring books, a warm bath, or a wander in a park are all ways to help us settle our minds after a stimulating work day. Loud places, events, noisy activities or adding stimulants like alcohol or caffeine are a bad idea. Resist the urge to do what the crew might be off doing – YOU need to take care of yourself. Be smart about your wellness!

 

 

Welcome to S.A.F.E!

S.A.F.E. on Set is a tribute to the hard working collaborative of ‘lost souls’ that I proudly call the Film & Television industry. Where else can you find such a motley crew of dedicated professionals who are so wonderfully unique… united by nothing else by this crazy business we call home.

I use the term “crazy” with all intention, as I’m sure we look like that to the rest of the world sometimes. It doesn’t take long to see that we all carry with us our own passions, and our own demons. Most hide their inner struggles through tiresome hours, sarcastic quips and disguise it through the work/life mash up we know and love.

In an industry where being 15 minutes early means being late, and where minutes cost thousands, it is remarkable how readily those boundaries burst open in crisis. I have rarely experienced such camaraderie and laser-focused “rescue” response anywhere outside our community when one of our own is in need.

It’s this family quality that causes heartbreak when one of us suffers, particularly due to mental health issues. We pride ourselves on being fierce, fearless and formidable. Yet that assumed persona is somewhat false. More and more I’ve discovered how many of us suffer in silence – battling anxiety and depression.

We selectively reveal ourselves to our teams – due in part to the programmed responses triggered by hierarchy, protocol and politics. The other part is due to the sanctuary of being among other folks who let their work-selves shine, rarely having to expose our soft underbellies. But like a dragon, a fiery attack is often inevitable.

While anxiety and depression manifest differently for all people, there is something that universally can help everyone – breaking stigmas.

After developing my own personal network of anxiety-allies, I saw the positive changes in me, and those around me, simply from talking about it. I found hope in colleagues who couldn’t understand, but wanted to. Knowing I mattered, even with all the pressures and deadlines enveloping us, meant that it was OK for me to not be okay. Not being judged, not being dismissed… it was the crack in the amour I needed to be reassures that I can stay in the business I love, while working on my own wellness.

S.A.F.E. is not a solution, its a catalyst – for each of us to respectfully develop our own ways to cope with anxiety and other mental health issues. It is a safe place to share our stories, our support and our struggles. It is a place to laugh, cry, inspire. It is a place to affect change. Real change.

I hope you will join me as we make all sets a bit more S.A.F.E.

Learn more about S.A.F.E. on Set HERE

 

About the Founder

The mind is a mysterious thing.

I’ve been working in Film and TV for most of my life, yet it wasn’t until more recent years that I acknowledged my ongoing battle with anxiety and depression. On set I was told that while I did a great job, I was far “too emotional” or “too intense” at times and I struggled to understand why others seemed to handle set life better than I was able to.

I tried immersing myself into documentaries, where I enjoyed smaller teams and more autonomy.  Later on, my career shifted into working exclusively off-set. While periods of anxiety became less frequent, that all to familiar ‘intensity’ would emerge. My reactions to situations felt beyond my control and completely disproportionate to the issues at hand. I felt alienated. I blamed myself.

“Maybe I just can’t do this anymore.” 

After a lengthy struggle with my former partner’s bi-polar and psychosis that I immersed myself into understanding mental health and how to advocate for those afflicted. What I learned is that anxiety and depression affect more people I ever realized.

While I have developed tremendous coping tools and a reliable support network, the one thing I cannot control are the consistent high-stakes responsibilities of Production. Collectively, we are getting better at identifying and supporting our community, but cracks still appear, stigmas still linger and many still suffer in silence.

I have loved this industry for most of my life. As a film and tv professional for who experiences anxiety and depression. Recently diagnosed with PMDD. Until a few years ago, I believed I was just a highly emotional person, prone to outbursts when things got “too tough”. Often frustrated and confused at my reactions, where it seems no one else on experienced things the way I sometimes did. My marriage to a talented and compassionate artist who suffered from Bi-Polar disorder exposed me to vulnerable and often bewildering environments that embrace mental-health sufferers and care-givers.

20130503_191134It was though our journey that I realized anxiety takes on many forms, and manifests itself in countless ways. I began talking talking about my experiences and soon realized that I am not alone. Moreover, I learned how rampant mental-health issues are in the industry and dove deeper into understanding the ecosystems we live in, and the symbiotic effect they have on our mental health. I was fortunate enough to be introduced with a counselor who helped me identify my triggers, which emotions are reasonable and expected vs. which are manipulated by anxiety. Essentially, learning to cope, while recognizing when things get beyond my control. I learned to ask for help.

Through my own decision to be up front and open about my personal journey, I found so many others who either struggle in their own journey to find balance, or who have loved ones who they desperately try to understand. It is this intimate love of the industry, my film family, and the uniqueness of each of us as we strive to accept each other and grow into our best selves – that I created S.A.F.E. on SET.

In solidarity,

Jennifer Zabawa
Founder, S.A.F.E. on Set

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